Blending Two Families

Being a parent comes from the heart.

We are a blended family.

That means a lot of different things to different people. For us, it means that Sam and I both brought a daughter from a previous marriage with us into our relationship. We were mindful in the blending of our families. For each of our daughters they had always known the life of an only child and all the attention that comes along with it. To suddenly have sisterhood thrust upon you can be a hard pill to swallow! We took things slow. Infact, we were a couple for six years before we got married. We realized that the two of us getting married wasn't just a choice we were making to acknowledge our love for one another. It was also a choice we were making for our children for them to inherit a parent and a sibling. We felt like we all needed to make that decision to choose each other. That takes time.

The secret to blending a family is being flexible. A blended family is scary and incredible, raw and perfect, but ALWAYS changing. Just when we think we’ve got it nailed down life throws a curve ball and we are redefining what our parenting looks like at each developmental stage.

What we have always tried to place of paramount importance is the respect we give to our individual relationships with one another. Our children are an extension of our partner and deserving of the same love and dedication.

Sometimes that looks like a devotion that pours out from a place you didn’t know existed until that child came into your life. Sometimes it looks like tough love and setting a hard boundary. We commit to spending time together as a family and one-on-one with each of the children. We like to think of this as parenting with intention.

What I do know is that between the five of us is home. Wherever we are, as long as we have each other. No matter what shape life will take, through tragedy and joy. They are my home.

We chose one another and I’d choose each of them again. Always.

~ Nicole

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